How To Get Rid Of Zombies In South Africa
What is a Zombie?
a: a will-less and speechless human (as in voodoo belief and in fictional stories) held to have died and been supernaturally reanimated
b: the supernatural power that according to voodoo belief may enter into and reanimate a dead body
How To Get Rid Of Zombies In South Africa
1. Know your survival skills
“Imagine you found yourself in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, how do you keep yourself alive? Well, there are loads of everyday objects that could help you in an emergency situation.
2. Choose a good hideout
“Firstly, get out of the cities. A lot of us live in cities nowadays as they’re so convenient and full of shops, but if civilization collapsed and you had to do things for yourself, the city is one of the worst places to be.
What if there’s no electricity, no gas, no running water, no lights, heating, and you can’t grow your own food because everything’s covered in tarmac? You’ll want to escape to the countryside! Find a spot near a river with fresh water you can drink, and start learning how to grow your own food.
3. Pack a survival kit
“Imagine you’ve got a four-minute warning to get out of the house. Grab some fresh water and cans of food – if you forget your can-opener, don’t worry because you now know how to open one without! – a knife, twine for tying things, or failing that, use your iPod headphones instead! And don’t forget that empty plastic bottle for sterilizing water. It’s all about being clever, ingenious and using things in new ways.”
4. Use your mobile phone
“The one thing we all can’t live without these days are our mobile phones, but if civilization collapsed they’d not be much use at all. However, there is one feature on your mobile that will continue working for at least a couple of months, and that’s GPS.
I estimate we’ve got about six months of life in the satellites should they be abandoned, so while you won’t be able to phone people or ‘tweet’ for help, the map function will continue working as it relies on satellite signals and not the mobile phone network – that goes for your smartphone compass, too!”
5. Become a super scavenger
“The biggest key to surviving is learning how to scavenge and forage for the things you need. One of the best things to get your hands on is a car battery and alternator. Use them to make a simple windmill or a watermill to recharge the battery. A scaveneged solar panel can be used to charge your mobile phone.
6. Gather a useful gang
“You might have imagined who you’d take with you during an apocolypse. Who’d be most useful? Do you know anyone who owns an allotment, who has the skills to grow their own food? Or someone who’s good with their hands, like a carpenter or metal worker, or good at fixing things, like a car mechanic? These are the people that will be most useful when you’re trying to rebuild society. People like computer programmers or astrobiologists (like me!) will probably have to learn a few more useful skills!”
Best Ways to Get Rid of Zombies
Remove the head or destroy the brain to get rid of zombies
This is the most basic principle of destroying the ravaging zombie horde. It relies on the assumption that the infected zombie brain sends brain-eating messages to the zombie body. Sever this connection between zombified brain and undead body and you are left with the simply dead instead of the undead. Without the motor skills or motivation to devour brains, the zombie becomes indistinguishable from any old corpse lying around. Use whatever means you have at hand. Then consider composting the remains for your garden. Though soylent zombie is not recommended as it may spread the zombie virus. And taste terrible.
Chainsaws can get rid of zombies.
If it’s good enough for Bruce Campbell as Ash in Evil Dead, it’s good enough for you! Perhaps this most classic method of zombie destruction and removal is what’s best for you. This will not only remove the head or destroy the brain, but can also disembowel, de-limb, quarter, massacre, destruct, and generally discombobulate zombies. Two drawbacks with this method include the splatter zone and the chainsaw wielder’s close proximity to zombie teeth. This method is best used on slower moving zombies with poor motor skills. And don’t forget to take along your raincoat.
A tiger pit can help you get rid of zombies.
This is an oldie but a goodie. Using the shovel from your anti-zombie arsenal, dig a deep pit. Think grave-deep, at least. Then, using your anti-zombie ax, fashion some grotesque wooden spikes out of some local trees or remnants of old wood picket fences. Securely embed the spikes at the bottom of the pit. Cover the hole with a sheet or tarp or any other pliable surface. Cover that surface with leaves. Consider using a decoy, such as an irritating in-law for bait, and you have yourself a genuine pit of doom for any wandering zombies.
Get rid of zombies using a wood chipper.
If perhaps your zombie type is of the slow-moving and easily tricked variety, a wood chipper is an excellent way to remove yourself of these unwanted zombies. Consider a type of tiger-pit strategy with perhaps a human or another zombie as bait. Using a wood chipper will not only remove the head or destroy the brain of zombies with unadulterated gusto, zombie chunks may yet prove a useful source of natural fertilizer, or even a natural biofuel. Just don’t forget your safety goggles.
Wait for the zombies to decay.
This method relies heavily on the type of zombie infestation that you have. This will not work on every kind of the undead. But it may be that the type of zombie around your neighborhood doesn’t have a very long shelf-life. If your zombies are the type that cannot regenerate or repair their own tissue, then hot-dang, all you have to do is wait it out! Exposure to the elements will wreak havoc upon undead tissue. And as they begin to decay, their ability to acquire brains from human beings also decays. Soon these ferocious brain seekers will only be piles of goo, and your life can once again return to normal.
Things to Avoid
Fire.
While fire may seem to be a natural, cheap, and easy solution to your zombie infestation, I assure you that fire is most likely not the answer. You know how those zombies are, always getting into everything. Curious little creatures they are. Now, can you picture those curious little biters on fire?
Nuclear arms.
Nukes. Good for killin’ the whales. Bad for killin’ the zombies. Imagine a bunch of brain-crazy, undead cannibals hell bent on eating you. Now imagine that they’re radioactive to boot. You get where I’m going with this. So, unless you’re into killing whales, avoid the nukes.
Use your BRAAAIIIINNNSSS
Remember that getting rid of zombies isn’t a chore–it can be fun. The most important thing you can remember is to remove the head and destroy the brain. After that, you can be as creative as you want. Make a game out of it. See who of your friends and family can destroy the most zombies in a designated period of time. As long as you avoid the big no-nos of fire and, were you to be able to get your hands on them, nuclear arms, then the rest is up to you. Put on some music. I would personally suggest Rob Zombie’s “Living Dead Girl” (available on a variety of Albums or PrimeMusic at Amazon) Grab some beers. Grab your guns (alcohol and guns never mix, unless it’s after a zombie apocalypse; in such a case, guns and alcohol are encouraged.). Then go crazy. You’ve never had a better excuse to blow the brains out of your zombified boss, in-laws, grouchy old neighbor, and that kid that was mean to you once in the third grade. As long as you remember the basic principle of how to get rid of zombies, you’ll do just fine: remove the head or destroy the brain. Just try not to get bit in the process.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs).
How do you keep zombies away?
Because you don’t want to draw much attention to your home, keep the inside of your home lit by candlelight, flashlight, and/or green glow sticks. Place them on your food table, in the punch bowl, along the floor, hanging from the walls, etc. Zombies won’t be able to see these lights from the outside of your home.
What is the cause of zombies?
In some versions, the reason the dead rise and attack is unknown, rendering the whole situation inexplicable. In other versions, a specific parasite or infection is known to be the cause, framing events much like a plague.
How do you get infected by a zombie?
Similar to real viruses and bacterial infections, the zombie disease in films like 28 Days Later (2002) and Day of the Dead (1985) is spread through contact, normally by a bite or contact with a bodily fluid (like blood) from the infected.
They tend to have disgusting looking teeth, and lots of dead skin… Consensus zombies have only one weak spot: The brain. You must attack the brain. There is no other way to bring them down.
What is another word for zombie?
In this page you can discover 20 synonyms, antonyms, idiomatic expressions, and related words for zombie, like: living-dead, undead, flesheaters, the-undead, zombies, monster, zombi spirit, cannibal, zombi, zombie spirit and crazed.
What is The Walking Dead virus called?
The Wildfire Virus is the infectious disease that creates zombies in AMC’s The Walking Dead Television Universe. The virus was discovered on April 15, 2010 and became a global pandemic by August 25, 2010 – which then caused the end of modern civilization and the near extinction of the human race.
Where did the virus in The Walking Dead come from?
Past theories that the virus was extra-terrestrial or a natural phenomenon can now officially be ruled out, though why such a self-destructive pathogen was being created by the French remains unknown at this stage.
If consistent with Bekesy’s work we can assume that the zombie likely has a lack of cochlear amplification and loss of non-linearity compromising both sensitivity and dynamic range. Applying Bekesy’s post-mortem data we can estimate that zombies likely have at least a moderately-severe sensorineural hearing loss.
How fast can a zombie run?
Max Brooks’ book The Zombie Survival Guide, a tongue-in-cheek tutorial for surviving the living dead, notes, “Zombies appear to be incapable of running. The fastest have been observed to move at a rate of barely one step per 1.5 seconds.”
Are zombies cold or warm?
Nope. Zombies are dead, and are oblivious to both heat and cold. They assume the temperature around them, making them in effect a cold blooded creature.
What is the medicine for zombies?
Desomorphine, a synthetic opioid also known by its street name krokodil and colloquially called the zombie drug.
What is a medical zombie?
Zombie expert Matt Mogk defines a zombie with three criteria: it is a reanimated human corpse; it is relentlessly aggressive; and it is biologically infected and infectious.